Thursday, May 5, 2011


Everyone is talking about their excitement for summer.
Well all this hype is making me feel... well... Not excitement. Quite the opposite, really.
Why, you ask? Well.. Ya know how every single school year, you tell your friends "Oh! I'm going to miss you so much! We have GOT to hang out this summer!" And it never happens. Never. Well school is really my only time to see my friends and do anything to get out of the house. School is the only time I really get to socialize outside of church. I'm hoping this summer is going to be different. I'm going to try to get out there and make plans but I still can't really feel the excitement about it. It's rather pointless for someone who is as socially awkward as I am to feel anything but dread for a time that is all about friends now.
Do you know how summer was even started? It was a time for the children to help out on the farm. Because it was harvest season. School wasn't mandatory. There weren't "sick days" or "mental health days". No "winter break", "spring break" or "thanksgiving break"s. It was just you come or stay home. So most students would stay home for the summer to help their families prepare for the coming "cold season". Well that concludes my ranting for the night, it's late and I have another day of school tomorrow. After tomorrow, 19 days of school left, according the Facebook statuses.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Exes, Bestfriends and Love

I was on the bus, on my way to school... I was thinking...
Why do exes seem to go for your friends or anyone that will hurt you. Or are you just hurt because you'll end up being hurt with whoever he goes out. It doesn't matter who, as long as it makes you believe he's really moved on.
My friend doesn't believe that my ex is going to most likely do the same thing he's done to me and to his other exes. I went out with him for a year, I lost my virginity to him. I know what he's capable of. She'll end up looking at him with a longing for the kind of love he gave her at the beginning. She'll miss it. She'll want that feeling back because he just treats you SO well... And he'll say if they had sex; their relationship will be stronger. So she'll do it. And that will be that...

Friday, April 29, 2011

Random Poem

I don't love you
Not anymore
You're always way too right on cue
All too well rehearsed
Maybe I'm just cursed

First Post:

I've been meaning to do this for awhile... I guess what really pushed me is I wrote a poem that I want to share with someone, but i'm not really sure who to share it with. I figured who better to share it with than strangers, right?
High School
The flames of gossip engulf you
The demons of comments bring you down
Nothing feels as it should
But everything feels normal anyway

You live this life
You walk the same halls
You wish you could switch lives
Live a better one
A better life...

But you know
That would be a sign of weakness.